PHONE RINGS
I haven't spoken to her yet.
I know it's urgent!
Sorry.
Yes, I'll call the solicitor ASAP.
I'll let you know as soon as it's sorted.
What's the emergency?
I'm starving.
You couldn't fetch us a croissant or something, could you?
You texted me to order breakfast! That's nice.
I'm revising.
I thought you'd be happy to help me out on your day off.
For your information, my "day off" actually means that I'm washing,
I'm cleaning and catching up with all the other stuff
that needs doing because nobody else bothers in this house.
But Mum, you're so good at it.
So if you'll just get me that croissant...
And a cup of tea.
Well, it's Ramadan, isn't it? Thinking of others.
Yeah, don't push your luck, madam.
Thank you.
How's it going?
Spoilt for choice.
Everyone and his brother is offering aromatherapy courses.
It's all the rage, according to Sebastian's aura-cleansing
and chakra-balancing immersion course.
Right. Just be careful which bandwagon you jump on.
Yeah, well, this one isn't a bandwagon.
It's accredited and it's been running for 15 years.
"Essential oils and their use in a caring context."
Well, the title's a bit way out there, but it's well respected.
You should go for it. Yeah, well, we'll see.
Excuse me.
Sorry, I'm looking for Greenacres.
Well, it's right here. I'm heading in myself.
I'm Dr Novak.
Dr Carmichael. After you.
What are you after?
Can't I bring my own mother some flowers when she's poorly?
In fact, I did want to talk to you anyway.
So they ARE a softener.
DOORBELL RINGS
You expecting someone?
Get that, will you, darling?
Dr Carmichael for Mrs Bartlett.
Dr Novak.
Joan, how wonderful to see you.
Karel.
Perhaps I should come back later.
You will do no such thing.
I've brought you all together for a reason.
To reveal the killer?
It's what Miss Marple does, is it not?
Oh, Karel, you are funny.
What's going on, Mrs Bartlett?
Dr Carmichael, Derek, meet Karel.
The man who is going to do my face-lift.
Breakfast is served, madam.
What?
I just...
I thought that you were revising.
Yeah, I was, I got diverted.
What's the big deal?
Alia, you do not need to layer it on with a trowel.
Mum, half the girls in my class look like this.
What, drag queens?
I knew you wouldn't like it.
I was joking. I was experimenting.
Right, well, in my honest opinion,
that particular experiment has failed.
Thanks a bunch.
Hey. Look at you, you don't need to wear that.
You look beautiful. Just leave it.
But...I thought you'd decided against it!
As I recall, darling, that was you, not me.
As soon as I'm on my feet, I'm off to the Czech Republic.
The Czech Republic!
It's a charming country. It's where my clinic is.
Mother, you shouldn't even be considering non-essential surgery in your condition.
Nonsense! Dr Carmichael, will you reassure my son
that I'll be perfectly fit for the operation
as soon as my slipped disc has healed?
Well... Mother, Eastern European medical facilities
may not be up to British standards.
The Czech Republic is not in Eastern Europe.
And then there's the competence of the surgeon to consider -
some of these people get their degrees off the internet!
I am a member of the International Association of Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons.
Karel's credentials are impeccable.
That will be no consolation
when your stitches burst on an international flight
and you're leaking bodily fluids all over economy class.
Mrs Bartlett,
may I suggest returning after I've completed my other house-calls?
And if you want to discuss your suitability
for cosmetic procedures, we can do that then.
Gentlemen.
See what you've done.
I would like you to stop behaving like a sulky child
and listen to Karel.
PHONE RINGS
Yes, dear? Give me a minute, will you?
I'm sorry.
No, I haven't been able to ask about the money yet.
There's been a bit of a development.
It wasn't a passing whim -
she's actually got the surgeon in the living room!
It's easier said than done!
Yes, dear.
Right, I am off. Can I get you anything?
You haven't applied?
Not at these interest rates.
49%
Apparently, I'm a high risk borrower -
means they can get away with charging silly money.
I guess that means my course is off the agenda.
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that...
Jimmi, I can't take any money from you.
It could be years before I could pay you back.
I don't want it back.
Jimmi...
80,000 could go a long way
to getting you somewhere to live and to help you retrain.
£80,000?!
I want to help you.
No.
You can't, I won't let you.
It's wrong.
Well, that sounds very reasonable to me.
Compared to the UK, our pricing structure is most competitive.
The total charge, of course, depends on which surgeries you choose.
I want the whole nine yards, please!
I do hope that you will allow some time to explore Prague
before your operation...
Snake.
I hear you have a lot of bridges.
We do indeed.
The Charles Bridge is 600 years old and very romantic.
I can recommend some places to stay if you would like.
We have been able to negotiate special deals for our clients.
I bet you have.
You and Dr Carmichael?
Yeah, we've talked it over, crunched the numbers, and we both agree
that it's in everybody's best interest
for us to put more money in.
I see. It's the obvious solution, if you think about it.
Jimmi can stay on as a salaried doctor, Zara and I will continue
as partners - thereby guaranteeing security and continuity.
Well, that is very reassuring.
But surely this is a Plan B.
We would all prefer that Dr Clay remained as a partner.
Of course.
But if he chooses to go ahead, we have a fall-back position.
I don't even know what to wear.
Cheers for that.
Yeah, my mum's really old, what can you expect?
Bye, then.
Look, I'm sorry, OK?
I didn't mean to upset you.
You didn't.
You know, there's nothing wrong with a bit of glamour.
It's just, it's a tricky look to get right.
So grab your coat.
I'm taking you to a beauty counter.
Beauty counter? Yeah, you're going to get a makeover.
You're going to get tips from the experts.
Mum, this is 2018!
If you want make-up advice, you go online. What?
Farah's told me about this vlogger - Siya - she says she's brilliant.
Hi, Siya here, your fun, funky, make-up coach.
Hang on a sec.
Jayesh, I'm trying to do a vlog in here! You sure about this?
Give her a chance. Now, where was I? My new amazing look.
I'm really excited about this
because it got me over a bit of a rough patch -
I finally broke up with Jez.
I think Jez had a lucky escape.
BP's looking good.
And your heart sounds fine.
So I suspect the numbness in your arm is just due to the slipped disc.
Well, that's a relief.
So there's no medical reason why I shouldn't have cosmetic surgery?
No. I'd give yourself a couple of months to get back on your feet.
Otherwise, you're in excellent health for a woman of your age.
But you should bear in mind that all surgery comes with risks,
and those risks increase as we get older. Yes.
Karel's talked me through the pros and cons. Well...
As long as you've found a good surgeon. You've done your research?
I spent three weeks in the Caribbean with Karel.
Oh, we were on the same cruise.
Ah.
He's wonderful company - funny, knowledgeable.
I consider him a friend.
I certainly wouldn't let just anyone carve me up.
Well, as long as his surgical skills match his social prowess.
Oh, they do. I've seen the pictures.
VOICEMAIL: I am sorry I can't take your call at the moment.
Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.
You can't fool me, Mr Novak, I know your game -
seducing seniors out of their life savings
with romantic city breaks and promises of eternal youth.
If you don't cancel this whole shebang with my mother,
I'll shop you to the authorities.
Oh, please call me back to confirm that you got this message.
Thank you.
KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.
What's going on with Jimmi? He just blanked me.
And it's not the first time either - he was all over the place last week.
I am not in a position to say.
So you do know, then?
As I said...
How are preparations going for tomorrow's interviews?
Sorted. How many are we seeing?
A few. Is that enough?
It is for a locum nurse.
I am sure we'll find somebody suitable -
it is only for a few weeks. Hmm.
Was there anything else?
Yeah, can I book some holiday?
I mean, I was just thinking
if Tash can to go India with her husband for a month,
I'd quite like a month in Thailand.
Thank you, Nurse Lee.
Ta dah!
Wow! Good job, Mum.
Thank you. Well, don't thank me, thank Siya.
"Your fun, funky make-up coach".
Told you she'd be good. Yeah, I've learned a lot.
And not all of it about cosmetics.
I know, she's well shot of that Jez lad.
What?
Thinking of others, Ramadan!
It's your turn.
My turn?!
Yes. Thanks, Karen. Yes, I'll deal with him.
She's going ahead with the surgery.
You have to intervene.
It's none of my business, Mr Bartlett, or yours.
He's a charlatan!
It's your duty as the GP of a vulnerable patient
to ensure that she comes to no harm at the hands of a chancer
with a scalpel and a fancy website.
I've seen no evidence that he's not legitimate...
He was chewing the face off some matron in the suburbs
not half an hour ago!
It's obvious he goes on these cruises to tout for business.
He doesn't care one jot about ethics.
Well, then, I suggest you update her yourself.
She won't listen to me. He's got her eating out of his hand.
PHONE RINGS
Sorry.
Yes? It's not a good time.
Yes, dear.
I'm just trying to...
I'm dealing with it.
What...?
Marcie, have...
It's my wife.
She's a bit stressed.
We're buying a house.
It's a stressful time.
You don't know the half of it.
She's trying to deal with the solicitor while I sort Mum out.
Please, Dr Carmichael, you must be able to do something.
Make a few enquiries.
Try and dig up a horror story or two?
Mr Bartlett...
How's it going to look
if one of your patients gets butchered
by a quack on your watch?
I can see that you're upset, so let me make some...
Please! Before she signs away her life savings.
As I was saying - let me make some enquiries.
No promises. Thank you.
That's much appreciated. Thank you.
Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr Bartlett.
Good weekend?
Look, the other day...
I was a bit hard on you.
You have every right to take your money out of the practice.
Right. It was just unexpected, that's all.
But if that's what you want, then you have my complete support.
As a friend...and a partner.
Well, thanks. That's appreciated.
OK. Good.
Mum. We must talk... Derek!
Mum?!
I can't move.
Argh!
Up you get.
Careful.
Sorry, sorry.
What happened? Did you drop the phone?
No.
I threw it.
How dare she? How dare she talk to me like that?
Marcie? Yes, Marcie.
She rang. Demanded money.
I told her to go whistle.
She called me vain, selfish...
She shouldn't have done that...
Well, you can tell her from me, she'll never get a penny.
And neither will you unless you need it for a really good divorce lawyer.
# Get your back off the wall Don't you get comfortable
# Looking so hot I think that I might fall
# Feeling like it's my birthday
# Like Christmas day came early
# Just what I want so when we move you move
# Hey, hey! I'm ready
# Hey, boy, come and get me, don't be scared, show me
# What you do, don't you know a girl like a boy who moves
# Don't you know... #
I'm done in.
You started it. I did.
I did.
But that washing machine is not going to load itself...
Look at the time!
Exactly, you are supposed to be revising for chemistry.
I know.
Well, a little break, you know.
That's all right, every now and again.
Yeah, this morning has been fun.
It has.
And the good side is, you don't look like Bianca Del Rio any more.
LAUGHTER
DOORBELL RINGS
Doctor. Doctor.
Dr Carmichael, thank you for coming so quickly.
Mother's in the living room.
You've got a nerve.
Mr Bartlett, I wish to speak with your mother.
Not a chance. The game's up, you cad.
Derek, let him in.
Go on.
Karel. What a surprise.
I am sorry to disturb you, Joan, but I felt I must be here in person
to defend my reputation
and to reassure you that whatever you may have heard to the contrary,
I have your best interests at heart.
Derek, what have you done?
What have I done?
Your so-called surgeon is having an improper relationship
with at least one of his patients...
That is a lie. I followed you, you despicable lothario.
He was dallying with a lady of mature years
in her own living room, not 20 miles from here.
Do you deny it? Why would I deny it?
He must have seen me kissing Sally.
We're staying at her parents' house while we're in the UK.
Sally is Karel's wife.
But she's...
Older than me?
I am so sorry.
Derek, apologise.
Then you can leave.
And just to make things clear, I don't intend to give you
or your insufferable wife one single penny.
But... PHONE RINGS
It's not a good time now, love...
Sorry, Mr Mellor, I thought you were someone else.
Yes. Yes, I understand.
HE SIGHS
I've left her a prescription.
Someone's going to have to collect it for her.
My solicitor.
My house purchase will fall through
unless I can find 20 grand by close of business today.
I'm sorry to hear that.
But why am I buying a house I can't afford?
The bank decided to retain part of the money.
The roof needs replacing.
They won't release the rest of the funds till the work's done.
Can't you get a bridging loan?
I've tried. But it's so late in the day.
Mum was our last hope.
But she's set on this face-lift.
Perhaps if you'd been a little more understanding,
she may have had more sympathy for you.
I was just trying to save her from that huckster.
Who does happen to be one of the top cosmetic surgeons in Europe.
I looked him up.
Really?
Well, it's too late now anyway.
Rubbish.
Closing time isn't for three hours.
Why don't you just apologise?
Throw yourself on her mercy - you never know.
Good luck.
KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.
Dr Clay, may I have a quick word?
It is about you withdrawing your money from the practice.
I have some news - an alternative source of funding has come to light.
Dr Granger and Dr Carmichael,
well, they have agreed to make up the shortfall.
Really?
I haven't discussed it with them fully yet,
but they are in a position to act quickly.
Do you have any idea of timing?
No, no. I'm still working on Amanda.
She hasn't agreed to accept it yet.
So it is not a done deal?
Well, like I said, I'm still working on it.
If it wasn't for you and Sally, I'd have been stranded on St Kitts!
And the moral of this story...
Never buy a watch from a stranger with a suitcase full of Rolexes.
I knew it was a fake.
My mistake was expecting it to work!
Look what I've got here.
How would you like your tea?
Black, no sugar.
Black, no sugar, coming up.
There we are.
Garibaldi?
Mother.
Thank you. Milk? No.
I'd like to apologise to you both.
Dr Novak, I misjudged you.
But I hope that you will accept
that I had my mother's best interests at heart.
Mother.
To me...
..you will always be beautiful...
..regardless of a bit of wear and tear.
Even so, I understand that the surgery means a great deal to you
and it's actually none of my business what you do
to your face with your own money.
Indeed.
I should have told you from the outset.
I need a short term loan of £20,000
to avoid my house purchase falling through.
And if by any chance, you could see your way to lending me the money...
..I have until 5pm today to transfer the funds.
Derek...
..I can't let you have £20,000 AND pay for my surgery.
And I'm definitely having the surgery.
Right.
At least you won't be butchered by a philandering con-artist.
Thank you. I think.
PHONE RINGS
Marcie. Excuse me.
Yes?
At Mum's, that's right.
Yes, she told me.
That wasn't a very nice thing to say, was it?
Because it's not true!
I'm rude?
I'm sorry, but you don't get to comment on my phone etiquette
after the way you spoke to Mother.
Don't be ridiculous - she hasn't done anything to me.
I think you should look at your own behaviour.
No, I haven't got the money,
and I have no way of getting the money,
so you better start unpacking now!
Marcie, it's Joan.
Just be quiet and listen.
Despite being called vain, selfish and an old boot,
I intend to make Derek a short term loan of the funds you need.
I expect it to be repaid in full in three months' time
with 5% interest.
This is not negotiable.
Why?
Call it a reward for standing up to that awful baggage you married.
Shall we aim for September?
Fall in Prague is something truly to behold.
How can I ever replay you?
Oh, you will, Derek - 5% interest should buy me
an extra week at a very nice spa.
KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.
Hi. Thought I'd give you a quick update.
So I've been onto the bank,
and with a little bit of fiscal juggling, I think
I can get my ducks in a row by the end of the week.
And Zara's got an appointment with her financial advisor tomorrow,
so with a fair wind, should be able to proceed soon after.
I was not expecting you to move so quickly.
Well, I mean there's no point hanging about, is there?
In fact, Jimmi's little bombshell has inspired me
to review the partners' agreement in its entirety.
I think there's a real opportunity here
for us to completely revamp our operations.
Dr Granger, I appreciate your efforts,
but I would hold back
from making any financial arrangements for the time being.
Why?
I would advise caution.
Dr Clay may stay as a partner after all.
I can see it in your eyes. You won't even let me touch you.
Please don't get wound up. Right. So it's all my fault.
Again.
I loved hearing about the fearsome practice manager as well.
What, "fearsome"?
You don't know me as well as you think. I'm not a good person.
And what precautions would you take against infection?
I tend to steer well clear of sick people.
I'm sorry?
SHE BURSTS OUT LAUGHING